After a crazy month of March that had a breakup, a spring break like no other, a national conference (post coming soon as I can get all my pictures uploaded), a billion tests and a huge huge huge database project, I finally can breathe easy again. I try not to bring my personal life into this space but blogging about that experience helped me to see what I was blinded by. After that, I've been on a rampage to improve myself but also really focus on what is important to me in life. Sometimes, we as people can be so clouded by the people and environment around us that we forget who we are and what we are stand for in life. I took a lot of time during March to think and figured out what I need from the universe, friends & family, and myself.
I want to share those realizations with you so I can keep my self accountable to the promises and beliefs that I have.
From the universe:
- I need more positive role models in my life like Sossena Wood. I need to see that people like me can prosper in my chosen field and really impact the world. Black women engineers are the future and I want more of them to be visible to the world.I also need to reach out and find more mentors doing what I love and what really interests me.
- I need people to stop thinking so negatively and trying to be catty to each other. It's hurtful and polluting and disgusting. You would be surprised what can happen when we are all honest and positive. The brain power that is harvested is magnificent.
- I need more nature and beauty in my life. Walking through a rainy forest or a snow covered path gives so much clarity to my mind. I also love fresh flowers in my room and fresh fruits on my table. Whatever beauty there is to see, taste, touch, hear, and smell, I need it in my life. STAT.
From friends and family:
- I needed your love and support and I got it. Now, if you need love and support, I got you. We have a mutually beneficial relationship based on us being ourselves and I love you to pieces. Don't forget that I can help you when you are low or needing some love as you did for me.
- I need people to be on time, present with me when we are together as well as honest. I hate feeling like someone is hiding things from me in conversation. I hate feeling like I am not important to you when I take time out of my busy life to spend with you. If we are friends, you can trust me not to say things or judge you for what you do in life. I can only support you and wish for you to be happy, unless you are doing something self-destructive and I will make sure you stop that behavior. If you do, I will too!
- I need you to remind me who I am sometimes when I seem to be confused or swayed by things that are not safe for me. My family and friends ground me. I need y'all to ground me when I get too lofty.
From myself:
- I need you to never compromise on things you need in life. Do not let anyone change your mind about things you think are important and should be tackled.
- I need you to exercise more and eat healthier. A body needs nourishment and maintenance - both of which come best from healthy practices.
- I need you to wear what you want to wear, when you want to wear and not conform to the pressure of Penn State and this sweatpants/leggings/uggs culture. Looking fabulous is not something you have to be ashamed of, especially because it makes you happy.
It may not be a lot but I finally feel back to the person I am meant to be and the person I want to be. There is no other feeling greater than feeling confident in what you believe in.
I think this is an exercise that many people need to do. If you do, make sure you write down what you conclude and live by it. Keep yourself accountable for the things that are important to you!!
